The Newest false Harry Potter Book!
by Fishcakes
Summary: Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts for the wildest, most hilarious year yet! With adventures to come such as dances, later curfews, and a weeklong visit to Dijon. RonHermione. HarryHermione. LockhartLockhart.
1. The best birthday ever?

The Newest (false) Harry Potter Book Yet!

  
  


Chapter 1: The best birthday ever?

  
  


Harry Potter sat on his bed, sick of the summer. Tomorrow would be his 16th birthday (or 17th, the Dursleys wouldn't know.) He knew that it would come and pass, and no one would know or care. Harry thought, "I'll go to the Weasleys'! They said I could stay!" Harry planned his escape. He planned to fly to the house on his broom. He PLANNED to, that is. Harry looked in his trunk, he looked in his closet, he looked in the bookshelf, and he looked in Hedwig's cage! But he couldn't find his broom anywhere. "Dammit." Harry thought. "I could have had a decent summer." Hedwig swooped down, and perched on Harry's shoulder. "It's a letter! Who is it from?" asked Harry as he opened it. The letter said:

  
  


Dear Mr. Potter,

Please note that from sixth year and on, there will be special events. To be able to do these pastimes you will need permission.

  
  


"Darn."

  
  


Some of these events include:

Dances

Extra visits to Hogsmeade

Overnight trip to Dijon for a week

Visits to Diagon Ally

Later curfews

  
  


Please turn in the parent or guardian signature by October the 1st.

  
  


Signed,

Professor M. McGonagall

  
  


"I can't get Sirius's signature (RIP), I am NOT going to ask Uncle Vernon, what other signature can I get? I guess that I'll just have to get Uncle Vernon's." Harry thought.

Harry asked Uncle Vernon after breakfast the next day. "Uncle Vernon?"

"You just interrupted my favorite TV show!" Vernon gave him the finger.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Well, make it quick." Vernon kept watching TV.

"There's this thing at my school..."

"AH HA! YOU WANTED ME TO SIGN ANOTHER THINGIE? WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU AREN'T EVEN GOING BACK TO THAT SCHOOL! IT IS TOO HARD, HAVING TO DISGUISE YOU FROM THE NEIGHBORS! YOU ARE NEVER GOING BACK TO THAT DUSTBIN OF A SCHOOL! NEVER!!!

Harry walked back to his room, and sat down, banging his head against the wall just like Dobby had done in his second year. Harry didn't know what to do.

He thought he must have fallen asleep, because when he woke up the sound of honking and crashing came through the window!

Harry stuck his head out of the window, and he saw the Knight Bus. Harry grabbed his stuff, and got on the bus.

"Hi 'Arry!" said Stan.

They drove to the Weasleys' house in about 10 seconds.

"Bye 'Arry!" said Stan, and kicked Harry of the bus. Mainly because Harry had stolen some cookies.

Harry knocked on the door of the Weasleys' house. Harry noticed something was different about the Weasleys house. All of the gnomes had turned into mushrooms and were bouncing around like maniacs.

"Hey," said Ron, "Oh, you are wondering about the mushrooms? I'll tell you why. Ginny was trying to do a spell, but something happened. She was trying to get her room retro, and she said groom instead of groove. Look over here! See that big mushroom there? That's Ginny."

"Hi Harry!" said Ginny the mushroom. She tried to shake hands, but the closest thing was to have Harry grab her head that was a mushroom.

"Whatever." said Ron. "Let's go to my room. I got a new magazine! It's called Playwizard!" Harry thought, for the first time in the entire summer, that he might have a nice birthday.


	2. Going to Hogwarts

Chapter 2: Going to Hogwarts  
  
Harry told Ron when they were in Diagon Ally about how he couldn't do the stuff in Professor M.'s letter because he didn't have his Uncle Vernon's signature. Ron said, "Last year Seamus said that he could forge it. How about you ask him to do that?" Harry agreed. When they got on the train, they asked him to do it. "Only if you give me a mushroom!" He said. "By the end of the year, I want a mushroom!" "Ok." Harry and Ron said smiling. A bunch of new girls walked on the train. Ginny was with them. "Hey!" Ginny said "These are my friends." Ginny pointed to the girl on the right. "This is Madison. She is shy. This is Mitchell. She loves to sing ( but she sucks). And this is Briana. She seems to think that shes my friend." Harry went back to his compartment, but Ron wasn't there. "?" Thought Harry. "Oh well, I'll go get Draco back for being a jerk." So Harry went to get Draco back for being a jerk. While Harry was being the fool he was, and trying to beat Draco up, Ron came back. He was holding 10 galleons, 56 sickles, and 30 knuts. Harry, because he was a fool, walked back with 10 bruises, 3 scars, and 10 hangnails. "RON!" Harry shouted. "How did you get so rich?" "I'm the new gamekeeper, and Dumbledore gave me my money for the next 20 years, and now I quit, and I got free money!" "Cool!" said Harry. "I need to try that! Only I am already rich enough." As soon as the train got a Hogwarts,  
Out of nowhere...  
Dobby appeared! Harry talked to Dobby. Harry stole some cookies and said, "Dobby? What are you doing here?" "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!" "Um, I'm already at Hogwarts." "But Harry Potter must not go back!" Dobby said. "Whatever, Dobby. I need to get at the great hall." "Harry Potter, don't..." Harry sat down. 


End file.
